My Date is Too Cheap! I Can’t Get Involved With Him

In years past, people who liked to save money were called frugal. Nowadays, those who are more freewheeling with money tend to call anyone who is careful with the money he spends as being stingy or cheap.

A person may be frugal for a variety of reasons, including their own parents’ spending habits, their future retirement, or a fear of job insecurity and company downsizing. In times of economic strife, being frugal is looked upon as necessary rather than a choice.

Nevertheless, money is one of the biggest reasons relationships break up, so it’s good to be on the same page about this if you are thinking about getting serious with someone.

If you and the person you’re serious about have different attitudes about money, then it’s a good sign if you can joke around about your differences and not glare at each other across the dinner table.

Everyone grew up in different circumstances. If your parents took the family out to dinner regularly, then that may be part of your lifestyle. But to another person, eating
out is something reserved for special occasions.

Having a date who is a coupon clipper can be seen as restrictive if you aren’t used to that perspective. A different approach towards money can be complementary and not necessarily something to fight about. For instance, you might actually enjoy that your date has coupons when you go to restaurants or movies and that you don’t have to pore through newspapers to find the best deals.

But when does someone being careful with their money turn into the accusation of being cheap or stingy? There is no hard and fast rule on this topic. Many of our reactions have to do with our personal preferences and our family backgrounds.

Do you argue and lock horns over some of your differences? How much do you really care about some of the things you’re arguing about?

Step back and picture yourself not dating this person and what your life would then be like. Also think about your “ideal” date and ask yourself if you may be creating a fictional dream date by wanting a situation without having to compromise or work through difficulties. Is this realistic?

If something is constantly nagging at you about the person you’re dating, ask yourself how important the issue really is to you. Will you always be frustrated by the emphasis on cutting costs and not be able to relax or have a sense of humor about it? If you can’t see his other qualities and find yourself constantly nagging him whether out loud or just in your head, then this relationship probably won’t work out at this time in your life.

When you can overlook certain things, be able to laugh at yourself and the other person, and then a difference in spending habits won’t make an impact on the chance of your relationship succeeding.