Blind Dating

Always be yourself on a date. You should try to tell the person the truth when they ask you questions. You should always remember that lying is not a good idea when it comes to dates. You don’t want to portray yourself in a way that you aren’t, so you should always, always be truthful about who you are.

Also, you should share a little bit about yourself on the date. You may not want to go into lots of detail about yourself just yet, but tell the person a bit about you so they can get to know you. Give them a little history, tell them about your family, and tell them about what you do now, things that you believe in, and what you want to see in the future. Tell them as much as you feel comfortable telling them, without boring them by talking too much about yourself.

Spotting Scams and Cheats When Online Dating

The real world and the online virtual world are both full of scam artists, liars, cheaters, stalkers, and plenty of other unsavory characters. Both worlds are also full of honest, reliable, trustworthy, hard-working individuals. One of the biggest challenges facing those participating in online dating is learning how to tell the difference.

Fortunately there are ways to know when you are being scammed and there are things you can do to protect yourself from becoming a victim.

Trust your instincts

Women especially seem to be in tune with their gut feelings and this actually is one of your best defenses. Pay attention to your instincts because, more often than not, they are picking up on vibes you might not be noticing. When your instincts start screaming at you to cease communication with someone, just do it. You can question your instincts later on, if you want. Or you can start working your next prospective love match.

Inconsistent stories, vague responses

There is a good chance you are being lied to or scammed when the person cannot keep his or her facts straight. Learn how to pay extra careful attention to the words you read and you will learn how to identify inconsistencies. They usually appear in the basic information another offers such as profession, age, marital status, hobbies and interests, even appearance. When someone cannot keep these basic facts straight, that person is very likely lying.

Talk on the phone

For your own safety and protection, always arrange to talk on the phone before agreeing to meet in person. You will get a genuine feel for the person on the other end by doing so. If this person turns out to be the smoothest talker you have ever encountered, that should be a red flag. Also, if the person cannot seem to arrange a convenient time to talk on the phone, this is a bad sign and you should consider ending this relationship immediately.

Asking for money

Anytime someone you are communicating with online asks you for money, or for your banking or credit card information, or anything regarding your personal finances, you are being set up to be scammed. Contrary to what people think, even the brightest, most worldly individuals have fallen victim to this type of scam. Even if you are being given the saddest, most unfortunate or dire story about why the other person needs your financial assistance, it is most likely a lie. It is in your best interest to stop all communication immediately, and this person should be reported, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable to do so.

Keep personal information personal

The more personal information you give out during your online communications, the more you increase your chances of being victimized. Don’t divulge your hometown, name of employer, last name, phone number, real email address, home address, nothing. If another person keeps insisting on this type of information from you, it’s time to move on.

How to Succeed at Online Dating

Invest in a paid membership

To really get the most out of online dating, you should invest in a paid membership. Free memberships and trial memberships are good when you are trying to find the online dating service that will best match your needs and goals. But once you have found a site you are comfortable with, take the plunge. Think of it as an investment in your future.

Take your time

Miracles don’t happen in the real world, so don’t expect that they will happen in the online world either. A one-month membership isn’t generally enough time to really experiment with all an online dating service offers. It’s going to take you a few days just to get everything set up to the point that you are happy. You are going to need time to develop a relationship just as you would under traditional dating circumstances.

Be Honest

Honesty really is the best policy, and so that you don’t waste anyone’s time, be especially honest about the type of relationship you seek. In addition, you’ve got to put a concentrated effort into getting what you want. Your ideal relationship isn’t going to happen without your assistance.

Write a powerful profile headline

A great headline is the best way you have of getting noticed. In the world of online dating, you are one small fish swimming among a sea of thousands of other fish. It takes creativity to get noticed, so don’t be afraid to try something new.

Select the Right Photograph

The first thing anyone will look at is your photo. If you are serious about online dating, consider hiring a professional photographer to capture a few good images of yourself. Whatever you do, don’t put in a photo where you’ve cropped an obvious ex out of the picture or where you’re in a group with several other people. Keep the focus on yourself.

Keep the conversation light

Always put on a happy face when you are communicating with someone you’ve connected with online. You’ve got to learn how to flirt without the use of your body language. Learn how to make your words evoke laughter. Build up the parts of your life that are interesting. Use the wink emoticon to break the ice.

Use IM and the Phone

When you’re ready to take an online relationship further, chatting in real time via instant messaging and talking on the phone will really become important. If you remember the rules of safety, you don’t have to be afraid to venture out of the safe environment of sending and replying to email.

Don’t divulge personal information

Always play it safe because until you meet in person a few times. It’s not possible to really know who the person is on the other side of your correspondence. When you chat, use generalities, not specifics. For example, you might state your occupation, but do not give the name of the company you work for, the branch location or other identifying information. Never give out your last name, address, or even the town in which you live. It’s just not necessary, especially early on. Anyone worth dating in the long-term will respect your desire to protect yourself.

How to Fail at Online Dating

Being too shy

Many people think that online dating is a wonderful way for people who are shy to find someone to date. Well, guess what? Being shy online will lead to just as many failed attempts at dating as it does in the offline world. If you don’t want to fail at online dating, you’ve got to come out of your shell, both when chatting with someone via email and when you meet them in person.

Being passive rather than active

This is different than being shy. Passive daters are not fully committed to the idea of online dating. They approach it with half of their attention and most don’t commit to a paid membership which puts everyone at a disadvantage. Regardless of the reason for your passivity, whether you’re indecisive, fear rejection or are just too lazy, failing at online dating will be a blow to your ego.

Cutting and pasting your replies

Don’t email the same responses to everyone you find online. Many people will see through this masked attempt at originality. This type of correspondence is impersonal and if it’s all you’ve got time for, then perhaps you don’t really have enough time for dating. If you do this because you’re not good with words, then read how others respond to your messages and use these as guides. Nobody likes a form letter, especially when they’re looking for romance.

Sounding negative or arrogant

No one wants to talk to someone who is a downer or just the opposite, someone who cannot stop talking about themselves. Keep your negative experiences to yourself. You’re starting anew and there is no need to drag your past into your future. A successful relationship is a two-way relationship. If you do all the talking, it won’t ever develop into anything more than a one-way dead end.

Making overt or borderline sexually harassing comments

Asking questions that are too personal or offering up blunt comments about sex are almost guaranteed ways to scare off any prospective dates. Plus, doing so could put your membership in jeopardy if women complain about your emails and correspondence.

Lying about your relationship status

You’ll get away with this type of lie for a while, but ultimately, this type of lie will come back to bite you and it will hurt either you or the person you’re involved with. Don’t say you’re single if you’re not. If you’re not single, you shouldn’t be using an online dating site.

Lying about your real looks

It’s tempting to use photo enhancement tools to make your photo more alluring. Plenty of online daters do this. Or they post a photo that is ten years old. Whether your photo isn’t an accurate representation, or whether the words you use to describe your physical appearance are exaggerated, lying about your looks is another reason people fail at online dating. There is a point where the other person will see what you look like and you won’t be able to hide behind a fake photo any longer.

Corresponding only with the ‘Hotties’

You’ve got just as much chance getting hooked up with the person behind the stunning image as you do if you saw that person at a trendy nightclub – slim to none. That person will be bombarded with email and the chances of that woman finding your email and then finding it worthy of a response are slim. Get back to reality or online dating will never work for you!

How to Prepare for Online Dating

Face it. You’ve been thinking about joining an online dating website but something is keeping you from making the leap and pushing that button to join. Maybe you haven’t pushed that button yet because you haven’t prepared yourself. If so, then sit back and take a moment to see where you’re at with the whole concept of online dating.

Dating, whether online or by traditional methods, is a huge step for many people, not just for those who are shy. Some people might be new to dating, period. Others might have dated their high school sweetheart, divorced, and have never really dated before. Some people newly single might be new to the dating scene for the first time in many years, while others have had one bad dating experience after another and are trying to deal with issues of self-doubt or self-worth.

Whether or not you see yourself in any of these examples, it’s important that you have an idea of what you want to get out of online dating. Knowing these answers will help you write a more effective profile and when your profile reflects your wants and needs, you won’t waste time on others who are looking for something entirely different.

Are You Ready to Date Online?

Asking yourself whether you’re ready to date online is the very first question you need to answer. If your heart and your head aren’t in this, then don’t start yet. You’ll waste your time as well as that of other members. And if the online dating site costs money to join, you’ll waste your money, too.

Maybe you aren’t ready to officially begin dating, but you are ready for companionship. That’s an important realization because you will likely find others online who are seeking companionship, too. The interesting thing about companionship, however, is that people differ in their definition of companionship. Dates with no strings attached and even casual one-night-stands are both definitions of companionship to some people.

So if you’re just looking for a shoulder to cry on or someone to play bingo with, make sure your intentions are clear.

What Qualities do you Seek?

Besides a particular eye and hair color, think about the qualities you are looking for in the person you date. Here it’s important to think about more than physical attributes. Personality matters, too.

Is your perfect soul mate someone who skis or surfs, or are they a homebody who loves to putter in the garden? Can this person be recently divorced or widowed, or would you prefer someone new to the game of love? Is there an age limit to the person you want to date, whether how old or how young? Should a mate share similar interests or will someone with differing interests better suit your needs?

Define Your Online Dating Goals

Finally, ask yourself about your desired end results of your efforts. Are you looking for a long-term commitment that could ultimately lead to marriage? Do you seek friendship? Will a long-distance relationship be acceptable?

Even though you’ve answered all of the above questions, it doesn’t mean that your wants can’t change as you make your way through the online dating scene. These answers just give you a starting point. After all, your ultimate destination really is all about the journey!

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