Nouveau Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice



Dating Advice For Women

June 27, 2013

What If I Don’t Like Giving Blow Jobs?

question-and-answer-giving-blow-jobs


Dear Most Brave Girl,

My boyfriend really likes blow jobs but I really don’t like giving them. What should I do?

Sincerely,

What’s Wrong with an Old-Fashioned?

Dear WWOF,

There are a few legitimate reasons for disliking blow jobs, which include:

  • being allergic to semen,
  • having a gag reflex so sensitive that you literally barf on his lap every time, or
  • you were once attacked by bears in the middle of third basing someone and now you get the grizzly tizzies every time a penis touches your lips (a la Vietnam flashbacks ’cept with a boy’s whatsit instead of loud bullet sounds).

Does your reason fall vaguely into one of those categories? No? Then sorry, but you’re probably going to have to get friendly with your boyfriend’s swimsuit area.

Get On Board

Learn to like it because he’s not going to learn to dislike it. He’ll always want it. Do everything in your power to make it at least tolerable for yourself. And for the love of God, always act like you like it. If you’re committed to incorporating it into your sex life, you can’t succeed by grumbling and grimacing the whole time. Remember one of the Golden Rules of the Blow Job: About 50% of your job is done if you act enthusiastic about what you’re doing.

What’s Your Reason? Sexual Dysfunction Multiple Choice:

A. You don’t like the taste.
Solution: Figure out a modification that makes it tolerable for you. If you can’t stand the finale, you should still commit to going down on him but go for a twist ending. I’m guessing your boyfriend will still be pretttttty pleased if you treat him to a blow job that’s 98% blow, even if you have to bail and use your hand for the last thirty seconds.

B. It takes too long.
Solution: The more you practice, the better you’ll be at it. Then you’ll both be happy because you’ll be a sexy, efficient girlfriend (read: less time spent down there while still yielding happy ending). So start practicing. No guy has ever turned down blow job practice.

C. It’s gross.
There’s spit everywhere, your hands feel awkward and every time you desperately come up for air (oh yeah, you also can’t breathe), it makes a sound like the drain being unplugged in an aquarium filled with maple syrup. Solution: With practice, you will learn how to make it less chaotic and more sexy. Also, sex is kind of weird and gross. Get used to it.

D. You just don’t like the whole operation.
Solution: This is going to sound weird, but try to wean yourself onto it. Start by giving hand jobs with a little bit of tongue thrown in for a few minutes here and there. Gradually work up to spending the majority of your time down there until you can get through a complete session. It sounds silly, but the alternative is being the girlfriend of the guy who never gets blow jobs. How does it feel to be a stereotype?

E. You don’t think it’s something that “ladies” do.
Solution: Stop being a priss. There is nothing degrading or negative about giving head. Guys do all kinds of stuff for you. Plus, going down on a girl isn’t always a picnic. You each should want to please each other.

If You Just Don’t Want To, Maybe This Guy Isn’t For You

The important part is that you sincerely try to please your boyfriend in the bedroom. He’ll appreciate your effort to make him happy, so try everything you can before admitting that you just can’t grant him this oral favor. Also keep in mind that if you don’t do it, you can’t demand the reciprocal action from him. I bet you’ll both be happier if you choose the quid pro quo system.

Do you have a question about dating, love or the single life? Leave it in the comments and I’ll reply in next week’s Question & Answer!


m4s0n501




About the Author

Most Brave Girl
MostBraveGirl is the Executive Editor for Nouveau Dating and Love is Everywhere. She is a search and destroy robot for anyone acting stupid while trying to get laid. Ask for her help if you are one of those people.