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Dating Advice For Women

March 15, 2013

Why is He Pushing You Away?

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Written by: Tracey Fuller
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Lately, you have been noticing a change in your man. He isn’t picking up the phone every time you call, not texting you as much as you’re used to, and isn’t making any date night plans. You might think the relationship has hit a rut. But, maybe it’s not you, it’s him. Men act in mysterious ways when they are stressed out, or even scared that things are moving too fast in a relationship. What are the signs if he is just pushing you away because of his issues, and what are the signs that he maybe wants out?

 

He Ignores You

Now, we all have experienced rejection. But, when you are feeling rejected by the man you love, it hurts like hell. Especially when you don’t know why or what you did to deserve it. Before you jump to any conclusions, think about what your boyfriend has been through lately. Has he been dealing with work problems? Is he a student and the pressures of balancing studying and his personal life too much for him to handle? Because you are the closest person to him in his life, it’s easy for him to take things out on you. If he is ignoring your texts and phone calls out of the blue, and then when you see him he acts like nothing is wrong, chances are he is just sorting out his own issues, and doesn’t mean to blame you in the process.

 

He Makes Other Plans Without Talking to You First

When you’re in a relationship, whether old or new, it’s usually common to run by plans with your partner out of respect for one another. If he starts making vacation plans that don’t include you, or last minute plans to get out of dodge without consulting you first, then he is not respecting you or your time. And if he doesn’t see a problem with this, then maybe this is his way of showing you he is afraid of things “getting too serious” with you. Guys act out in strange ways, and sometimes they act without thinking of how it may hurt you. This can in some ways make or break a relationship, and chances are you will start liking your independence so much because of the fact he is “making other plans” that you will decide you want to be single again.

 

How to Bring This Up to Him

A talk is definitely in order, but make sure to bring it up in a way where he doesn’t become defensive the moment you open your mouth. First, he has to know in some way that he is treating you unfairly, and is already carrying the guilt. If you bring it up like “Hey, what is going on with you lately?” this gives him an open opportunity to say what is on his mind, without getting angry and on the defense. Second, after he is done explaining why he is pushing you away, explain to him how much it hurts you, and how you want to be supportive, but can’t if he keeps blaming you for his issues. Third, tell him it’s ok to be open with you about his doubts and fears, and that pushing you away is not the answer. A woman can only be pushed so far, and if he isn’t careful, he could be pushing you away for good.

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About the Author

Tracey Fuller
Tracey is a Chicago native and has her degree in journalism from Columbia College. Her passion for writing about dating and relationships derives from her own experiences, as well as from friends conversations about their dating life. She has been a freelance writer for 10 years.